We want to lavish love and affection on our puppies and dogs, we want to pick them up and cuddle them, we want to curl up on the couch with them, we also want to hug and kiss them, because we love them. Unfortunately, the way dogs understand this behaviour of ours is that we, as leaders are soft or weak. Undeserved affection undermines you.
When giving affection and interacting with our dogs we also go about it the wrong way. When displaying anxious behaviours eg whining in the crate and barking, jumping up on you and pawing or nudging you (demanding your attention) people or dog reactivity (anxiety or aggression) we often respond with soft words, pats, treats and distraction. This only strengthens and reinforces the dogs current behaviour and mindset, be it excited, anxious or fearful. Our job as owners is to help our dogs to relax and be calm; we do this by providing balance, structure and leadership.
To thrive, your dog needs you to provide for its instinctual needs; structure, exercise, rewards (play, affection, treats), consequences, balance, mental stimulation and rules.
When interacting with our dogs we need to understand what message we are sending them. When we are looking at them, talking to them, patting, feeding or playing with them we are rewarding their current behaviour and this will encourage similar behaviour, whether good or bad.
If our dogs have a balanced, structured home life, they understand what behaviour is required of them, they also understand that they don’t have to make the important decisions; they can be calm, knowing the situation is someone else’s problem and it’s none of their business. In other words, they know the leader will take care of it.
If your relationship is out of balance, get help, get training, learn how to give your dog what it needs so that it can give you what you want.
